LOSING YOUR VIRGINITY

When you were little, you had such high expectations of the moment you finally pop the cherry with your lucky other.

 Moments you had read in the harlequin romance novels of the pretty good girl that kept it all wrapped in until her prince charming came riding along. It’s a sensual moment heightened by memories of times past. 

The Prince plays by the books, he pays attention, he is a total gentleman. Then someday totally unplanned, both characters get under the sheet. The girl has been prepared for this moment throughout the story. The Prince knows the exact place to kiss, touch and ultimately leading them to the final destination. Then gently he flips through her woman-folds, she seemed ready, he thrust into her gently, there is a forceful entrance and the movement is at first very slow, but he gains speed afterwards. The girl feels a sharp pain but the pain is quickly exchanged with pleasure, she begins to feel the vibe of it, she moans softly then harder and begins to feel the tingly sensation.  The relief cascades through the two of them and they both orgasm. It is the ultimate fantasy.

If only!!! The truth is, your first time is bound to be your worst sexual experience ever. 

 First, penetration is nothing like those poky fingers you two have been experimenting with in your frolicking days. It is fuller, stronger and very painful for a first timer.

Secondly, while it is notoriously known that the hymen is a thin layer that even a finger can tear, getting a fully erect penis to enter the actual vagina after “tearing” the hymen is another ball game for a virgin. It will hurt as hell and you may find yourself pushing your man away more than a few times.

Thirdly, after the penetration, most first timers want the penis out of the vagina as first as it came in. the last thing on your mind is to enjoy the euphoria of it let a alone have an orgasm. Dream on baby girl…

Fourthly, you are probably not going to enjoy any moment of losing your virginity other than the foreplay that led to it. You may want to scratch pleasure out of your expected returns from the experience.

Fifthly, the myth of the blood when the hymen is broken is true for most women; the quantity however varies among women. You may however not be aware that you may continually bleed after consequent sexual encounters over a period of time depending on your body.

Lastly and mostly as a hint, you should stock up on lubricant. The need cannot be over EMPHASIZED. Don’t be fooled by flavoured “singing” condoms or the cost of it. Get a well lubricated condom and an ample supply of lubricant; water or oil base. You will consequently discover your preference as your sexual taste develops. 

You may also think breaking the hymen is the only leap you have to take but not to burst your bubble, you may not get to enjoy sex for a couple of months as well. The amount of time your body uses to heal will depend first on your body and second on the frequency with which you continually have sex after the first time. If you have sex and go on a break for another three months, you are setting yourself up for another painful sexual encounter for your next time. So you want to continue to have sex with a lot of lubricant. The pain is still very much real at this stage.

You must be weary of the experience at this point, but not to worry, sex is not all pain and gloom, you will get to enjoy it; amazingly if I may add but you have to put in the work. Nothing good comes easy you know?

What was your first-time experience with sex like?