Consent when it comes to sexual relations between men and
women is a controversial topic. It doesn’t help that we live in a society where
when you report an offender for taking unfair sexual advantage of you in his
house, the popular response is to be asked what you were doing there.
Some have argued that it is hard to determine when a woman
is actually saying no and when she is only “fronting”. This is why after a
couple of persuasion, she gives in and the action begins.
I think that this logic is defeated. Let’s take an instance;
you visit a government owned establishment and the tradition is that nothing
gets done unless you drop incentives (usually monetary) to fast track the
process. Your work of course will be delivered, but does this situation in
anyway imply that you gave the incentive voluntarily?
The analogy made sense when I thought it up, but now it
seems silly. So let me go back to my primary discourse. If your argument of
having forced sexual relations with women is in paragraph two above, then you
should know that at the time of the supposed “persuasion” the woman is no
longer thinking with her brain rather her hormones are in action hence the
response to continue whatever it is that stimulated them in the first place. This
is why the first emotion she gets after you are done is regret rather than fulfillment.
There is also a misconception by people especially men that
when you lavish a woman with gifts; then she owes you some sexual gratification
in return. This is wrong and need to be stopped. If you are not the type to
give a gift and let it be just that, then be sure you clear your expectations
with the woman before you part with it. The defense of expectancy will not
avail you of criminal and emotional liability if you forcefully take what you
assumed you deserved.
Consent as far as sexual relationship
between men and women is concerned should be as unequivocal and unambiguous as possible. A no
signifies no; it means do not proceed. Stop deciding for women what you think
their bodies need.
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